Life as we know it

How I lost this time was from standing in a queue at the only post office in the area that, since the recent sub-post office closures, is now open to me.

My, 'brief queue encounter' happened during my precious lunch-hour, when literally every second counts, in fact from the second the clock strikes one, I'm off and running... bank, grocers, dry cleaners, phone calls, food, on and on I trot... and it was all going so well... that is until I entered the post office.

I came to such a grinding halt that I swear my stilettos left skid marks.

Because, what I discovered was, a line of people not seen in England since around the time of the Second World War when rationing was mandatory.

What crossed my mind right about then was a line from a Bill Cosby sketch which goes something like this: "Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head" and to be honest, that seemed almost preferable because, on counting thirty people in front of me, I knew I was in for a long agonising wait.

If I'd had a choice I'd have left and gone back another time - thing was I had to do what I had to do there and then so, I had no option.

I don't like waiting '“ who does ?'“ and I have a threshold, anything over five minutes and I begin to get very tetchy.

Now, here's the thing, wouldn't you think that, with all the sub-post office closures, that the main post offices would have:

a. employed more staff.

b. made sure that there were more staff working during busy periods like, you know, lunch-time?

No, the grand total of people serving at the counters was two and, even to my un-mathematical mind two people to serve thirty plus people is well, wrong.

This was the first thing that struck me as odd '“ the second was the fact that despite all those people queuing you could have heard a pin drop, in fact it was deathly silent.

Perhaps the other people in the queue were also contemplating the sad loss of precious time, cruelly snatched from their lives, and for some this fact was more crucial than others.

I was in mental pain with the situation, but the elderly couple standing in front of me were clearly in physical pain as well, and it wasn't long before they began quietly ranting away to themselves.

Their conversation went like this:

Woman: "Good Lord this is ridiculous."

Man: "I know".

Woman: "Oh, I've never known anything like this".

Man: "I know".

Woman: "My back's killing me."

Man: "My leg's really painful."

Woman: "Well it would be standing on it for this length of time."

Man: "I know".

Woman: "Trouble is no one complains."

Man: "No, I know".

Woman: "Oh, I'm fed-up with this, how much longer will we have to wait do you think?

Man: "I don't know".

Woman: "No one bothers to say or do anything that's half the trouble."

Man: "I know."

Woman: "Look.. there's just two people serving."

Man: "I know."

Woman: "Do you fancy a bit of haddock for tea?"

Standing patiently in line waiting our turn, is something that sets us, as a nation, apart from other countries, in fact we are world-renowned for it, often invoking scorn and ridicule.

We'll happily rant and moan to our hearts content to one another but rarely do you hear anyone speak out.

A full twenty five minutes later and I'd reached the end of the line - literally - and turned to survey the room '“ the queue had nearly doubled.

So, on reaching the counter I decided to do my bit for life as we know it, and unclenching my teeth decided to say something as politely as I could to the supervisory lady: "Can I ask you a question? Why are there only two people serving when you have a queue out the door?"

"It's the end of the month" came the reply.

"So are you saying it's only like this because it's the end of the month? Surely it must have something to do with the fact that all the sub-post offices have closed.?"

Defensively she said: "It has nothing to do with us that they were closed."

"No, but this can't be any more pleasant for you, being this busy, than it is for us waiting so long to be served, surely extra staff need to be taken on?"

"We are going to take on extra staff soon and are in the process of interviewing people '“ anyway, it's lunch-time and it's always busier then."

So, there you have it, straight from the horses mouth, the powers that be closed nearly all the sub-post offices in the area and then decided to hire more staff to cope with the extra demand placed on the main branches.

Best close the stable door then.