A letter writer from Littlehampton has launched a tirade against men wearing shorts in the summer.
I. Fox, from Rope Walk, Littlehampton, sent a letter to the Littlehampton Gazette branding the practice of men baring their legs - or 'short, fat hairies', as they described them - as a 'fashion faux pas'.
This refusal to accept the popular clothing item could be based on some personal trauma involving their pet parrot, as mentioned in their correspondence with the paper.
The letter, written on a typewriter, has been shared on Twitter and picked up on the popular Angry People in Local Newspapers Facebook page, racking up hundreds of reactions.
Here is the letter in full.
Why, oh why do so many grown men insist upon wearing shorts in the street during the hot weather?
I would describe this as definitely being a fashion 'faux pas'.
Years ago, you seldom saw shorts being worn in public, yet today it seems to have become 'de riguer' and legions of stalwart citizens are prepared to show their 'short fat hairies' with a gay abandon which is little short of startling.
Personally, I would never inflict my own 'short fat hairies' on anyone in town.
Even my pet parrot 'Bertie' FINDS THEM laughable.
Every time he sees them, he pipes up in his shrill tone... 'SHORT FAT HAIRIES...SHORT FAT HAIRIES!' and I am mortally wounded.
Yes, shorts for men in town should definitely be given the fashion 'thumbs down'!"
If you would like to know I. Fox's thoughts on other issues, here are a few of their other musings: